Oh wow …. Total Emotional Breakdown
That was quite unexpected, i know i haven’t been 100% happy in the last few weeks but monday the flood gates opened and i was close to hysterical, so lucky my hubbs was home to just hold me tight.
Time to come out ….
I’ve suffered from different levels of depression on and off for the last 15yrs, on and off medication during that time. The causes are so many and i think were sparked off with postnatal depression followed by nearly 10yrs of mental torture from my EX (other issues too)
What sparked this breakdown…..
Where do i start…
Weight loss (not happening)
Very low feelings of self image and worth
the list is endless and mounting….
I’ve an appointment to chat with my GP but it’s not for 2wks so i need to hold on until then and try to stop myself from sinking further into that very dark place i found myself on monday. It’s along time since i felt that bad where i would have quiet happily slipped away into nothing, feeling nobody needed me for anything, they would all survive without me some even be happy that i had gone. Also feelings of not know where i was going in life what was the point of me being here… so many questions ??
Just typing this blog i feel the darkness lifting as though i’m on my way back up towards the light. Yesterday hubbs sent me back to bed and i slept solid for 4hrs and woke feeling so much better. Hopefully this is just a blip and i can make it out the other side without medication.